It’s father’s day and a great time to be with your dad, but also an opportunity to celebrate fatherhood. Male and female, God created them. The complementarity of a mother and father is the basic building block of the family and society. Contrary to post-modern thought, fathers cannot be replaced, yes there are heroic single parents and families, but the absence of a dad is always a loss, although one that God can heal and redeem.
So how did we get to this point in our culture, where in the UK, two primary schools worth of children a day are aborted? Much of this has to do with the commercialisation of sex. Sex has become a recreational activity, just like any other recreation, but where there is sex, there will alwaysbe babies.
With the commercialisation of sex, men can avoid the responsibility of fatherhood and this contributes to a ‘perpetual adolescence.’ Men live for their Xbox, live in constant narrative of comedy, who take little interest in studying the deeper questions of life and objectify women as a means of their recreation.
As the saying goes “It takes adults to make babies, but it takes babies to make adults.”
For our grandfather’s generation, there was less money around and men were forced to get serious and to grow up quick. As is well documented, 75% of all suicides in the UK are men. Men today have a decline in happiness despite moresexual availability. Academic, Mary Eberstadt, likens this phenomena to obesity. She observes a ‘sexual obesity’ in the West, a gorging on pornography which has indisputable harms. Young people exposed to pornography are more likely to have multiple sexual partners, use alcohol or drugs with sexual encounters and higher sexual permissiveness.
Some might say “but I’m not harming anyone.” Porn increases your chances of divorce. Men lose the ability to relate to, respect and be attracted by ‘real’ women not to mention the industry which is riddled with abuse, drugs, exploitation, physical harm, trafficking.
We have a generation of men who have in their hearts the potential for nobility, courage, integrity and self-sacrifice– we only have to look at our armed forces as an example of this. However, our hyper sexualised, money driven culture keeps men in the smoke screen of smut, practical atheism and shallow comedy.
What is the solution? It starts with you and me. Being an example of integrity and honesty within our sphere of influence. So when a conversation with the lads turns macho, ask them how their kids are doing, or how their father-in-law is after his back operation. In front of your mates, compliment women, on their appearance when they are dressed modestly. Be considerate of your friends, think of their birthday and cheer them up if things are hard.
In this way, we counter the adolescent mentality and love them with Christ’s love. We can only do this through a life of prayer, pondering Jesus like Mary pondered him in her heart (Lk 2:19). We become like the company we keep. If you keep company with Jesus, you influence your friends – no question.
Today it is father’s day for allthe men out there, whether you have children or not, because we are all responsible to the children of our nation and all have a role to play in the protection of the unborn. Let us honour women and inspire a generation of bold men of humility who can fully step into the sacred role of fatherhood.
Deacon David Donaghue
I’m very pleased that March for Life UK has used Father’s day to issue an invitation to men to get involved in pro-life campaigns. Abortion is usually seen as a women’s issue but it also has a profound effect on men who equally feel a sense of grief and guilt over the loss of their children.
The child victims of abortion, including the survivors, are equally likely to be male or female. We should also expect to find survivors all over the world depending on the legal availability of abortion. However, if you go through the process of collecting data at random, you find that the majority of known abortion survivors are American women.
I have collected a sample of 35, including 9 men and 26 women. Breaking it down according to location there are 24 in the USA, 8 outside the USA, and 3 who have not specified a country.
The figure of 35 is small compared with the 286 that Melissa Ohden mentioned at the March for Life in London. I have asked her about it and she says that only a few of them have gone public. All the rest are on private lists. They are prepared to talk to Melissa and maybe a few others but they don’t want all the world to know that they are abortion survivors.
Perhaps that explains why I’ve only got 35, but I can’t understand why there are so many women and so few men. Come on guys, if you’ve survived an abortion, come out and say something about it. There’s no reason why you should suffer in silence.
I have long found male “macho” conversation distasteful, and the way some men start swearing as soon as the ladies leave the room. I know some of this is just not to “lose face” in front of fellow males, but I feel it doesn’t do any favours to anybody either. Yes, a concentration on “getting rid of it” does produce a male population that is deprived of its fatherhood – I have brought this into several of my novellas – but I am also inspired by seeing rough-looking, tough-looking men looking after their young children – or somebody else’s. Like motherhood, fatherhood can be egalitarian and productive of human solidarity: this spills over into economic and social issues too – the pro-life philosophy is not “irrelevant” to wider social and political issues, despite what the pro-abortion fanatics claim – some seem to think that all men are rapists and exploiters and will inevitably produce those dire “problem pregnancies” where abortion is the “only” solution! Perhaps more pro-life message should be directed at the males who panic and think “she doesn’t have to continue with it…” and hence the pressure and arm-twisting that cause so much injustice and pain. – with some properly woman-centred message for a change. A real man should be ready to be supportive to the extent of personal sacrifice: there’s an affirmation of real masculinity in that!
Thank you! Inspirational words.
It.s wrong to say all men are bad Their are many decent men who respect wimin and their.s bad wimin who stork men ever way the poor unborn bub shoudn.t be held responsible for mother or fathers riced deeds The bubs innocent Rapists should be castrated and put in prison for years and years and years or put them on an Island Let them ruin each other There are good and bad of each gender It should be known world wide a bub is a human being from conception It should be on the news and on every radio station It should be known abortion is murder It should be more criminalised than any other murder The unborn are the youngest and the most innocent I hope the laws will change to protect the unborn from the moment of conception The sooner the better I hope this will become a safe world for the unborn touch wood it will